It's not what you think

In the Fall of 1989, I was working in my counseling internship at an outpatient alcohol and drug rehabilitation unit.   I was tasked with starting a support group for the siblings of adolescents who were patients in our treatment programs, and also for the children of adult patients in our program.   The sessions I was running were the  most popular component of our treatment program.  The kids in those groups bonded with each other on some very important points in their lives.   This blog post is being done because the story of one of those kids is important and needs to be memorialized, recorded and hopefully learned from.

One of the adolescent boys in the treatment program, being treated for drug abuse, was Jason.  Jason was adopted by the preacher from the local Unitarian Church in Brownsville, TX.   Jason was 17 years old.  That same family also adopted two girls who were biological sisters to one another.   Kathy, and Abby.   Kathy was 16 and Abby was 12.  Both girls were involved seperately in the family support groups that I was running.   Jason, Kathy, and Abby were tightly bonded to one another.  Each cared deeply for the other and all acted as protectors of one another.

One evening, after one of the family support group sessions which we held at Our Lady of Guadalupe church in Brownsville, Kathy, the eldest girl pulled me aside to speak with me.  She told me she had something she needed to speak with me about and was visibly upset.   As we sat down and began talking, she started to disclose to me horrific events which were taking place in her home and had been taking place for years.

As the conversation opened up to this topic, i asked for Kathy's consent to involve another female counselor as a witness.  She consented.  Kathy went on to disclose a pattern of rape which was being perpetrated by her adopted father which would take place nearly daily.   Kathy described the cycle as one where, when she was showering in her bathroom, her adopted father would demand that she she bring a condom with her into the shower, which he would use as he would rape her in that shower.  She described these events with horrific detail and emotion.   She stated that her mother suspects that something was happening but that neither of her siblings had any awareness and that her mission was to protect her younger sibling from experiencing these horrors.  With her imminent graduation in the coming year and the possibility of leaving home, she had justified fears that, once she was gone, these acts would be perpetrated upon her younger sister.

About midway through her report of this, as we were seated in a windowed room of the church, looking out at the parking lot, we saw her "father" drive up, waiting to pick up the kids from that evening's session. Jason and Abby went to the car.   Kathy's "father" could see the three of us talking inside the church and could see that Kathy was crying.  It must have been obvious to him that something was being reported to us.  He stepped out of his vehicle and stood beside it, glaring in our direction.   Kathy was crying and shaking and repeated over and over again how she feared for her little sister's well being.  She refused our offer to contact the police on the spot and shortly therafter, left with her family.

The case was reported to DCF (Department of Children and Families) and they approached Kathy at her school the next day.   They reported to us that Kathy had refused to corroborate our report and refused to make any further statement.  Neither Jason, Kathy, nor Abby were heard from again in our treatment program and our attempts to reach them were not successful.

About a year later, we found out that the brother, Jason, became aware of what Kathy was being subjected to, assaulted the "father" of this family, severely, and had been arrested (Jason) as a result.   That was the last we ever heard of this case.

There will always be speculation as to whether or not the abuse in that family ever stopped (it likely did not) or if it progressed to the younger sister at some point (it likely would have) or of any of the family members failed to even survive this, in the most literal sense.

As was said at the outset of this post, it's being written because it's important to know.  It's important for someone who is also the victim of such things, in this present day and time, to know that there is a "way out".  There is hope to stopping this kind of horror.   The case of these three children had an impact on me, both personally and professionally, and will also be part of my paradigm.   I hope daily, that those kids, now adults, found a way "out" and are prospering as adults.